Gross

So I am the middle of a purge... I have a medical procedure and I have to drink all this stuff and it is super disgusting. I sound like I am 16, but ugh. it really is gross. And all i want is a damn cheeseburger.

Well I will get to eat after I am finish with this tomorrow afternoon. I remember the fist thing I ate was some sugary cereal with some kind of coloring. I swear it came out the same way. I didn't each much of it after that.

It has been a rough couple of weeks, getting back to work, dealing with some personal things and trying to keep up with church. I am a leader. I just want it to be easy. Leading is not easy. I can want it, but it is not going to happen.

I keep thinking about how I can make a difference. How can I be a positive force for change? How can I make things work better? What can I do to make a difference?

Can I make those changes as a leader and make my surroundings better? Can I learn to do things differently? Can I help people see that although the change may not be easy, it may be necessary for survival?

In some ways I feel like I have been skating by and not accomplishing much. Especially with exercise. I have been lax in exercise. I hope I can change that.