Thursday, July 29, 2010

Serious clutter

I decided I wanted to clean the dining room today. I have serious clutter issues. I found stuff that I will never use again, I found items tucked into corners, I found lots and lots of crap. I am putting my clutter buster glasses on and looking at the stuff from a different perspective and going to try like heck to purge purge and purge again. But I know one of the things I would like to do is to stop my own purchases of said crap. One of the reasons is to replace the crap I cannot find... that is sad... because it is hidden under more crap! ARGH.

So in the effort to spend less money, I am trying to organize items so that I do not have to purchase any more stuff that is not needed. I want to use up what I have. So why do I have this pathological need to get more paper plates because I have too many napkins that match? Seriously? Seriously. I am crazy. I have no idea why I want to have that. I love to have nice things that match, something that is lost on my husband. Well, maybe not lost. Not important. If they were iron covers, they'd match. Napkins? Maybe... it just wouldn't have the same importance.

SO I am going to try to clear out a spot on the table to eat lunch and make an effort to clear out more stuff. I think I need a bigger trash bag.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


I should be working on things but I am not. I am bored and I want to play. I want to eat. I want to do anything but what I am supposed to be doing. Not really a good way to be on a Tuesday, is it? I ate 2 pieces of banana bread and then a meat loaf sandwich and I thought I was hungry but really I am thirsty.

So I drank a liter of water and I guess I need to drink more. Littlest Girl is finally out after fighting sleep and some tummy time. Which means I have about 2 hours to *do* something. The tasks I have to do are staring me in the face with their tongues sticking out, nyah nyah nyah, you'll never complete US. You will just fritter your time until Em wakes up and then not get anything done today.

Well I would like to get things done. But my brain has spun it all away. Drat. I made a list of things I have to do and I should follow the list. But I am avoiding it. I am not playing games, or watching TV. I flit between facebook and, burping up the meat loaf sandwich and realize there are 4 work hours until I have to pick up the girl. Given the fact it is only 81 degrees, perhaps I will venture upstairs to handle the item on my list of things to do. One item. We'll see what happens after that.

I was thinking about the Wii and the fun we had with it. We will be able to enjoy that more when there is room. I could go up and play or do Wii fit. But it strikes me as a waste. Most things do these days. Games like sudoku and puzzles and other things. If someone asked me what I was interested in right now I would give them a blank stare.

I think I am in a down cycle, that's all. I need to stop thinking about me and start thinking about others. that usually helps me get moving. Drat. The siren song of a horizontal surface calls me. When I look back over what I wrote I think about it and say... she sounds depressed. Mere Baby Blues is all...

Monday, July 26, 2010

Exercise... Finally

I did a walking DVD as it is close to 100 outside. It annoyed me. The woman was too cheeky and I kept getting distracted by all the crap on top of my dresser... so I pulled everything off of it while I marched in place. I also put on the wrong one and I had to modify. They wanted me to jog and that is not happening yet. So I kept marching. I figured that I could at least move my happy butt while doing it. It was scary, the contents on top of my dresser filled a laundry basket... it was out of control.

Did not get sweaty, the reason why was the headache that has been aching to bust through all morning did so right in the middle of the workout. I looked over at my water bottle. Still full from last night. The Littlest Girl let me sleep until 3 (5+hours) and then woke again around 6. I did NOT go back to bed, but got up and got everyone going. Dropped MM off and went to the store... then got back and took care of some things. But I did not drink enough water and now I am in deficit. Add blood pressure raising from the workout and my head could not take higher intensity, so I kept my marching, downed a liter of liquid and kept moving but without the higher intensity... so... not aerobic, but my butt finally feels like it got some exercise.

Will free-cycle some of the items on my dresser that I will not use... and other items can be thrown away or sorted and put away. Part of my downfall. Things do not get put away in their proper spot. I am going to try to work on that.

I was thinking about joining weightwatchers but then I realized that if I really thought about it, I could do it myself. I should not look to an outside source to tell me what I know already. I need to reduce my saturated fat intake and instead focus on Omega3's and healthy fats. That my caloric consumption should be watched so as to not go overboard. I am breastfeeding and I really cannot "diet" because I actually HAVE to eat more. I looked online and someone reposted the "points" for WW and a lactating mom get 12 extra points... that's a Big Mac... HA! Doesn't mean I should eat one.

So now that I have accomplished 2 items on my list for today, I need to feed the Littlest One and begin prep for dinner. Meat Loaf... yum. yeah yeah yeah I know... does it help that it is made with pork, turkey and beef? And that my meat loaf rocks? I may have to find that CD for prep work. And some ibuprofen for this headache.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Random Bits

I have spent virtually 2 weeks away from home. I was in Ohio, attending an engagement party for my sister who after 45 years on the planet, has found someone. I also attended my 20th high school reunion... and forget to say hi to Matt Spellman. I think I met up with everyone but him. Maybe in the next 20 years. 10 days in Ohio with my parents. I love my parents.

As a result, my thoughts on exercise and diet have been on hiatus since then. The balance of the time has been spent at church feeding people for Vacation Bible School. Our church does an evening variety with dinner in the beginning. Next year I am going to focus on sustainable food and not go with what is convenient. I want to try a couple of new things that I will have to test on my family this coming year.

One of the things that I am going to do is get away from the convenience. Prepacked, presauced, scary stuff with astronomical caloric indices. There are at least 4 of them in the freezer. We will eat them, because I do not want to waste food, but I will not buy them again. Yes they are convenient. But they are really bad for us. So no more.

My mother said I need to clean off the top of the refrigerator. That is where our snacks are. She is right. There is too much stuff up there. I will get it cleaned off and get the "snacks" away from our family. Will I throw it away? Probably not. But I will get rid of old things and not buy new ones. My daughter loves fruit snacks. I am working on going for the fruit leather and not the small packs endorsed with characters that entice her. We will go through what we have. No more. Can I actually stop buying them? At this point I have enough to last another 3 months. I think so.

My baby belly is not going to go away on its own. I feel the deep need to exercise core muscles that will pull in that belly. But my bigger concern is my husband's belly. It is too big. I really want to measure it and start him (and myself) on a path of better eating. Perhaps I can get him to work with me on that. He is on meds for HBP and I want him to be off of that medicine. I have a feeling he could if he lost the weight. Perhaps I should stop making cookies that he will vaporize as well and wash the cookie jar and hide it back under the counter until fall.

So I have to work on a plan for the both of us. Most would say throw out the crappy food and start fresh. Nah. We will ease into this and get it done. Right now I have visions of Cinnabon dancing in my head. Cinnabon. Evil crap. I can make good cinnamon rolls but for some reason it sticks in my head. I love those cinnamon bites from the pretzel store in the mall. Greasy evil crap. Worst thing for you, white flour, sugar, grease.... and the tastiest thing under the sun. I am trying to separate the taste from the obvious badness that it is. Obviously I am not doing a good job with visions of dripping cinnamon. *sigh*

Breastfeeding makes me hungry. I am trying to get my body to harvest calories from itself, but I still have to ingest some. The trick is not to give in to the dripping Dali-like rolls and instead find something that might be healthy.

We have to go to the store today, then to a barbecue. I want to bring brownie bites and some cookies. Would love to make something but nothing will hold up in the heat today. So we will get our shopping done and roll over later to the 'burg and make it happen.

Perhaps I am a little off with the 5 hours of sleep, but it was 5 continuous hours. I finally got the girl to sleep after 3 solid hours of trying to feed her, change her diaper and rocking incessantly. I was tired and very very cranky.

Speaking of the girl, the youngest, she is awake and it is time to roll.

Monday, July 5, 2010


I really despise idiots. My husband says that I project. I project my values and ideas of the way things should be when I talk about them. I could talk about them in a clinical way, I could just write about the facts, but this would be boring.

My ideas of fun do not coincide with their ideas of fun. From what I could tell, their ideas of fun were inciting their mad dogs to fight with each other, barking like crazy. Yelling and talking loudly and setting off random fireworks. We were sitting out on the deck enjoying the beautiful weather when the young man next door cranks over some type of vehicular device meant for riding through the mud and on trails. It was large, heavy, loud, with absolutely no type of exhaust system. Did I mention it was loud? The young man decided to ride said vehicle up and down his yard (the whole 2+ acres) and then out onto the street. (It is a dead end street at the end of a township). The gas fumes permeated the yard and woke up my 4 week old with the decibels. It was 8 o'clock in the evening. My sister called the sheriff to complain. They made it out there by 9:30 and caught him on the road and gave him a ticket.

After the sheriff left, the young man sat in his yard and revved his 4-wheeler for a full 2 minutes at full throttle. It woke up my kid again and filled our house with gas fumes. He did this not once but twice. My mother called again to complain. My parents went to bed and then the fireworks started. It's midnight, Em is still awake and I can hear them talking through the open window about being quiet so that they won't wake up the lady next door. (whatever) The smell of gunpowder drifts through the window (There is no central air in this house) as I finally get to sleep. When I wake up, the sooty smell of a bonfire permeates the house.

So who is the idiot in this story? Was it us for calling the sheriff and ticking off the neighbor? Was it the neighbor for being such a dolt to own a vehicle such as that with no place to ride it? The neighbor for having such ideas of fun? Oops, I a projecting again.

I have some friends who own these vehicles in Virginia. They ride them on trails. Their nearest neighbor is a mile away. Their actions do not affect their neighbors. Their bonfires are not an issue, nor their dogs. My niece has one of these here in Ohio. She rides them on trails and she says they are fun. I am sure they are. They are not MY type of fun. My niece knows better than to ride one late at night or on the road.

I guess that is the difference. The difference is knowing better. Knowing that your actions affect others. Knowing that the possibility of what you do affects the people around you... and caring about it. I guess that is the difference.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Late night snacks

No, not for me.

I am up at this ungodly hour due to feeding my child, who has decided to have just one more snack before nodding off. We have been up for a while due to the cluster feedings that she has been doing at least once a day... this one came during the dark hours.

I have been battling a headache for 2 days now. It was a full blown migraine last night and now it is the bruise of a headache with lovely minor flashes. I have to drink more water.

So now at 4:09 am when she is finally getting to sleep and I have downed 20 oz of water, the gnawing hunger comes, a by-product of producing milk... great now I have the lovely cow images in my head. As much as I would like to refrain from eating in the middle of the night, it is a necessity... I usually have to eat every 3-4 hours... something. So my snack is almonds. It is my favorite snack. nutrient rich and calorically dense. It only takes a few.

I am not going to freak out about the fact that my 20th High School Reunion is less than a week away and I look like crud. I will get my hair done and I will wear some decent clothes. As much as I wish I could have worked on my lovely body the best I have been able to do has been to lose the weight I put on since I discovered I was pregnant.

All I really want to do is exercise and get some tone back in my body. Yes as much as lean and mean sounds good, it is not my goal right now. How about walking a couple of miles with the stroller. But being up at 4am doesn't help. It is part and parcel of this part of baby-life. It makes it difficult to accomplish anything during the day, like getting into the shower and getting new clothes on. I am glad I have 8 more weeks to figure this out.

OK, time to go back to bed and attempt more sleep. Here's hoping MM does wake up... again. 3 hours would be nice and I am eating into it by blogging. Sleep... sleep. Sleep.