Thursday, October 14, 2010


I have nerves. I get nervous when thinking about things I have to do outside of the home. It can really do a number on my gastrointestinal system. My bout of colitis... definitely a result of nerves. The outside pressure went away and the colitis resided. I can feel the stress directly impact my body and I funnel it inward and pretend I can handle it. I can handle it, but it wreaks havoc with my system...

I have considerable pressure over the next coming weeks. I am ready by having my lists, but I need to sit down and think the day and the timing through. I can do this but only if I have a block of time to myself. I may take some time soon to make that happen. Funny how a responsibility earlier this year was no big deal, but this one, writ a bit larger is causing my head to be lighter than usual.

I need to learn to handle this stress a little better. I hate to medicate, but that may be the answer to make the impact on my body less. It seems I need it only once and a while and not all the time. The fact that I am still feeding Emily makes a difference as well. A job position opened up above mine at work and I had a fleeting thought but it is too much stress and I do not need that in my life right now. No thanks. I know my job and I can do it. it is utterly boring but the opportunity for analysis makes it better.

This morning I get to deal with a customer and get their things sheparded through the system, check them before they go to print and make things happen. I am excited about that. What I am NOT looking forward to is the fallout coming on Friday.

Sigh. At least it will be Friday. Time to find something to wea for myself and the girls and get rolling. At least I can handle going to work. I can recognize things. That in itself is helpful.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

A case of the Mondays

Monday is tomorrow.

Somehow, something that I should have done a month ago is still on my desk. Perhaps tomorrow I can make it happen.

Somehow, the table is covered with stuff. Again. This seems to be a daily occurence.

Somehow, the laundry I was so dilligent about doing is clean, but still in the baskets. not folded, not put away.

The black darkness of a long day creeps over me and I am ready for sleep.

Monday will come. These things can wait.