Sometimes

there isn't enough coffee. Sometimes you need donuts. or a hash brown. But you can remain tall and stand up and say no, that is not part of my goals. I will eat something better.

Let's see if I can do that this morning, and make a change for the better.

Exercise

Not cardio but I was sweating and working hard. Here's hoping it will mae a difference. All I am thinkingabout is rosemary foccacia... That is all that I want. YUM. Maybe I can make some tomorrow morning. Right now, I am wiped and going to bed.

Sunday

Well the day has started slow and I am okay with that. breakfast was turkey bacon and egg white and a half of a piece of raisin bread. MM ate the other half along with her piece. Two cups of Harrod's tea from Englad. YUM. I just got rid of my old kettle and got a new one. I hope someone can use the old one.

We are going to church and then to the store. Then home for a nap. I will be going to the gym later for some cardio... but I have a summer cold and breathing is, well, difficult. Hopefully I can get my nails done after that. The full moon is today.

sweating

when you sweat, does that mean that your body is working hard or that it is getting cooler? Or both? I did a lot of sweating and I am all salty. I cleaned out the attic, well, part of it. It seems I do not know how to stop shopping. It is a little crazy. I got all sweaty moving containers and boxes and luggin them down the stairs.

Then this morning, I held my yard sale and got all sweaty again when I set everything up and again when I took it all down and loaded it for goodwill. Most of it is gone, with the exception of a few things. But there are a lot of toys that are gone.

There are more things to go through, but that is enough for today. My body is still feeling the gym on Thursday. 1 hour of gym goodness. 20 min of cardio, the rest is cruches and a weight circuit. I will try to go tomorrow afternoon so that I can say i wen to the gym every other day for a week.

Food wise, I am trying to avoid sugar, and today I did not avoid fat, but sugar I was able to keep away. Hardee's Bacon Egg and Cheese biscuit. Muscle milk and 2 Kashi waffles for lunch. I have no idea what dinner will bring. Looking for protein, low fat, high fiber. Of course, I would kill for a banana milkshake. or banana ice cream. I think instead I will have a banana. Of course, I could have a milkshake, with frozen bananas and milk.... hmm...

derailed plans

it is often how things work isn't it? Instead of a night of working out and sweating, it was a night of eating instead. My brother ordered pizza and he asked me to watch his children for a bit because there was a lapse of time from the time of one parent getting home to another. And just like that, the plans to burn 500 calories became the consumption of 1000.

Did I come home and work out? Nope. The consumption of calories overloaded my system and I was a mess. I did, rather, chug some Maalox. Darn pepperoni.

Sitting all day

and eating all day. This has got to stop!

the difference is WHAT I eat. But I have to stop that habit, too. It is not a good habit to have. I will switch to tic tacs, 94% fat free popcorn, rice cakes. And perhaps I can break the habit. Somehow. I find if I drink more water I do better. I willl have to bring in another Nalgene type bottle to work.

Most of the day I felt sick... Eating too much... and too much junk.

Gym day tomorrow. Hooray!

Monday Morning

Well, on the exercise front I did do a 10K walk this weekend. I am sure my caloric content was not in line with it, but it was the weekend, especially since I ate this wonderful pasta, sauce and corn for lunch Sunday. Wolf wolf wolf, and it was gone.

I am looking forward to this week and I am working through lunch today.

Sigh... I keep hoping that it will work, but nothing is working for me at all..... because I cannot seem to stick to anything. I am just roiling around like a blind snake looking for a cure. And there is no cure. All there is is WORK.

Playing games

I finally came back to the gym... I took my daughter and we went right after work. then we went to Chik Fil A for dinner. I started on the treadmill, but my knee went a little crazy, so I switched to the recumbent bike. Then I did a circuit on the machines, followed by 5 minutes on the elliptical... and I hate the elliptical, but I did it. i did 25 crunches and I need to do about 100 more tonight before I go to bed. I was really excited about working my back but I was very very careful.

I have been playing zynga games of late, which are interesting, but I am getting bored with them. I am bored with a lot of things right now. Too much computer time. One of the games is called Farm town and it is cute. You plant seeds and harvest them... I play this as my own garden grows unabashedly. I need to pick lettuce. So I think, why am I playing games and then lamenting about my unclean house, my garden, my daughter my husband, when i am playing games?

Not that there is anything wrong with playing games. I like playing games. I am playing too much. I sit in front of the computer all day at work and I sit in front of the computer at home. I do miss blogging, but what am I going to blog about, playing games? How boring... wait.... *rolls eyes*

I have been baking lately. I made a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. I made a double chocolate thunder cake with chocolate buttercream icing. I made rosemary cheddar scones. I do like to bake. I think I would like to try my hand at some cream cheese rolls like I used to make. YUM.

I have found a couple of food blogs that I enjoy. http://foodiefarmgirl.blogspot.com is great and I enjoy it. it has great recipes and she is a sconehead. :) I read the simple dollar www.thesimpledollar.com and I have a friend or two that I read. I will have to post a list on the sidebar. I love my cousin; she is on facebook and I enjoy catching up with her after a long silence that was not intentional... we were busy.

i want to try to hit the gym again on Thursday and again on Saturday to establish some routine. I think that is what is missing in my life. I feel like I am floating sometimes. I do not feel focused.

well....

i have been on hiatus from fitness. Not that I haven't thought about it... Not that I haven't been staring at cookies... My monthly visitor showed up two weeks early. It threw me for a loop and today I threw out my back along with some really nasty items from the refrigerator. I have not done anything physical other than play vampire wars on facebook.

On a side note. I did manage to get some annuals planted.

I made macaroni and cheese (homemade) and carrots and apple-peach crisp. I have not bothered to look a calories. I ate when I was hungry and tried not to eat when I was bored.

We will see how tomorrow plays out. I am definitely dressing down tomorrow.

Whew!

I am glad that the race is over. I pushed it hard and came up with a best time yet of 50 minutes. Yes, I ran that long... on purpose. When I got to the end, at the finish line, my head was pounding along with my heart and I ended up almost being sick. I had to lay down when we got home and rest. I have a feeling my blood pressure was a little high. Too much salt the night before.... but it was tasty!

I wish I could run faster, but I will settle with what I am doing right now and keep trying to improve. I did the 10K in March in 1 hour and 50 minutes, and this one was only a 5k. I did manage to start with an 15 minute mile, which I think is a personal best. The second mile, my time was 33:00 on the clock, which means an 18 minute mile. I was very glad to see that I was on track.

We started up the hill and that was tough. On the way up, I could see the signs from far away. four foot by six foot signs. Pictures of aborted babies. I kept my eyes to the ground and kept going. I was very angry. There were about 6 or 7 of them, it seemed. The people were peaceful, they weren't yelling or doing anything, but I was appalled.

This land is about freedom and freedom of expression. In order to finish this race, I HAD to walk by? I could ruin my stats and leave the race. They had every right to do that, but if my 2.5 year old daughter saw that, how am I going to explain it? I don't want my daughter to see that. She does not need to see that. I wouldn't show her pictures of the mutilation and death of war, why would I show her that? When she is 2 or 4 or 10. As a parent I try to do the right things and keep those images away from her when it is horrific to see what clearly looks like a baby all bloody and disgusting. She is too young to understand what it means. Was it impinging on my rights to raise my daughter without that image and to be able to peaceably run my race? There was a sign that also mentioned that abortion and breast cancer are linked. I looked at these signs and I thought to myself, I will never never never give money to a group like that. I am not an in your face kind of person. But it just lacked taste and judgement. It was clearly a downer. I was glad to get up that hill.

I ended up running towards the end and I got my medal and some water and a banana. Then I blew it all by going to burger king and eating a whopper Jr (no mayo) and fries... rats. Now I would like to go take a nap, but my daughter will be getting up soon from hers. No rest for the tired cause certainly don't feel wicked.

Here's to beating breast cancer.

Running!

I am so pleased that I was able to push it hard tonight and get a 5K done in less than an hour. That is good for me, but I did not get the exact time it took me. About 2.5 miles into it, my foot started tingling like it was falling asleep. It was a weird sensation, but I pushed through it and kept going. Not satisfied to coast, I rolled it up to 5.0 to keep it going. I pushed it hard for the last minute and a half and got it done in about 52 minutes. (I had to walk part of the way because I pushed it hard enough that I had to catch my breath.)

Then I came home and ate the other leftover pieces of pizza, about a serving and a quarter. (we cut them into 8 pieces rather than 6.) I am hydrating (drinking a liter of water) and I made sure to drink a liter and a half of water while at work. Half a Lance candy bar (peanut yumminess).

To go along with that, I ate about 1100 calories before I left work. I had the best lunch today. 8oz. of chili over a baked potato, and the killer ingredients, sour cream and cheese. I also grabbed slivered carrots from the salad bar while I was getting the cheese. the carrots provided a crunch and I sprinkled the cheese over the potato, added the carrots then poured the chili over top. I dolloped the sour cream (only 1 oz.) over top. Deliciousness!!! Add random chocolate and a Kashi bar for breakfast. Good day! Estimated amount for the day, about 1600 - 1700 calories.

quick post

I didn't think I had allergies, but the pollen count down here in old Virginia will be enough to lay anyone out. The whole family is down. Claritin and Benedryl. Yay.

I am in the midst of packing my gym bag so I can get there tonight and get in a run to be ready for the Saturday race.

The good news is my foray into drinking has left me with no appetite and a shruken stomach, not to mention a acid worn esophagus. Wait, that is not really good news. I curbed my pizza intake to 1.5 servings of pizza. That is a good thing.

I also hit the gym on Monday to do a light workout of cardio and some weights. I did crunches and I still feel it. But I know that will bring back my stomach from post baby, post job stress and post depression status.

I really need to keep my focus. It's hard.

A lesson learned

I went out on Friday night and drank my dinner with some friends. I paid for it... not as a friend of mine did at the restaurant. No, I went home and was very sick. My husband said he could smell the alcohol coming out of my pores. That, my friends, is having too much to drink. I was smart and had someone drive me home. But I did not truly make it up and out of bed until about 2 in the afternoon. That is a day wasted. What a drag. I finally ate something at about 6pm... does that mean I am sort for that days calories? What's that you say? Oh, yes well I guess I did overindulge a bit. I was ready to go to the gym yesterday and run and finish it off. I think I actually need some sauna time to finish the job... I think MM and I will hit the "play place" this afternoon. It seems wet and rainy, though I think it is supposed to be hot.

I do know one thing for sure. I will NOT be doing that again. It was to excess and I am trying to avoid that. I do not want excess. Moderation. I ate to excess and it got me where I am weight wise. I do not want to drink to excess because it really isn't any fun... sure it might be when you are there, but the afteraffects just SUCK. So that is enough of that for me. I will still have a drink or two... I will still help kill a bottle of wine... but anymore than that just isn't where I am trying to take my life. I am trying to be better about how I treat my body and the things and people around me. This really didn't help that cause. But now I know.

Whew!

So I went to see the personal trainer today and I am sure I will feel it tomorrow. So tonight after work I went and got a pedicure and it was lovely. I read my book and didn't think about anything else.

Eating wise, I had a big breakfast and I hit Chik fil A for dinner. No lunch. Still I did about 2000 calories with the 576 calorie milkshake and a grilled chicken sandwich. Worth every single slurp. It was yum a licious.

the PT said I should be lifting weights 3 times a week. Does bench pressing a 2 year old count? Schlepping her in and out of the car? Running after her? The trainer works me out with weights and then tells me to do 30 minutes of cardio, but it was my lunch hour and I had to shower. I did a mile.... but I was moving.

I was very proud that I did a 16.5 minute mile. I am trying really hard to learn how to run and I would like to be able to get that time down. Perhaps as my lungs expand and I keep on practicing. I was pushing it... but I only had to slow down for part of it. That was exciting to me. I will get there eventually. But my legs were not the happy campers today... where is that tylenol bottle?

is it really Tuesday?

So I took a hiatus because I was away and busy making things happen for a project that was very important to me. It involved sampling walnut cookies, and they were tasty. Now that the project is behind me I can focus on my goal of trying not to die tomorrow at the gym with my lovely trainer.

Food wise, it has been up and down, with not much for will power, though I have tried not to be foolish. Of course, I did just have a nice serving of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Country Peach Cobbler is fantastic. YUM. Notice I said serving. Not a freaking pint. a half a cup. yes... i do not deny the wonderful pleasures in life that make it worth living. What is the use? I will find some way to make it happen... today I chose to rock in the hammock with my girl, eat parsley and asparagus straight from the garden and sigh contentedly.

Tomorrow is another day... Oh and the reason we didn't hit the gym tonight? Mommy forgot to pack her gym shoes... what a shame, right? Well, there is always tomorrow!

Miss me?

I was away in NOVA (that's Northern Virgina for the rest of y'all). It is difficult to eat well but I tried. I managed not to overeat, which is good, but I did not get to exercise, which is bad. Not to say that I didn't sweat, cause it was HOT, hot up there, just as it is here in Richmond. I was very warm, wore few clothes and still was ahem, sweating like a pig with swine flu. I was WARM.

I managed to have some fun and MM had an interesting time with her dad at the Thomas event. I did not go, and I should have, and next time, well, let's say, I will do it differently. I went shopping instead and found a couple of things for work, which is great. Not that i can't go shopping in my closet, but I still have a couple of dress sizes to drop before that becomes a reality.

I notice that everything I bought would work well as a maternity dress too. No, nothing to report on that front. I will have to curtail running if that happens, unless I can get my base and get my body happy prior to that blessed event coming along.

But I did do some gardening today and planted flowers, so that is a good thing. I made pasta primavera with shrimp and managed to eat well, but not overeat. it was a lot of veggies and a little shrimp, some spaghetti and a olive oil/ butter sauce. Oh, don't freak out. 1 T of butter per serving, relax. I would say 2 T tops of fat per serving with the EVOO and butter... between 20- 24 grams of fat (4g per t of fat) but who actually measures the EVOO they put in the pan? Not me, but I can guesstimate. I will definitely say that my primavera was more veggie than pasta. Tomatoes, squash, zucchini, onions, garlic, and carrots. YUM.

Perhaps tomorrow I can get to the gym for a workout. I would like to at least do some cardio. I bet MM would like some play place time.... I will just make sure she gets a bath in hand sanitizer when she is done.... (just kidding!)

It's FRIDAY

wooooo! Yesterday I was doing really well and then I ate 3 mini bags of MnMs right in a row. Ack. But I managed to contain myself and munched on baby cucumbers and carrots in the morning and then has a lovely quesadilla for lunch scarfing up the salsa and leaving most of the sour cream. The afternoon was more carrots and and cukes and trying like hell to avoid the candy bowl, which I avoided it for the most part then had the episode I mentioned. At this point I am just trying to avoid it. But how does one avoid the team lunch at Mexico? i ate breakfast already (bowl of good cereal) and I look forward to chippies and salsa, tacos and tamales. YUM

I should really be exercising now, but the upper body is still recovering and I am tired, despite a cup of coffee and cereal.... all I want is to go back to bed... yes... that is what I will do.

Soreness

(picture from http://www.rosstoons.com/)

I had a meeting with the personal trainer on Tuesday and wow, today I am feeling it. Arms and abs are sore, backside and legs not as much. I would love to go back again and do it. It was great, and the feeling I have is a good sore. I also did cardio and today I am resting my body, though I may do some stretches to alleviate some of the soreness.

Eating today has been interesting. I brought fudge for people and managed to not eat any myself. I took some pain relief today at work to help me along and it did help, but I still was eating a lot. Luckily it was halfway decent things. Like multigrain minis and kashi go lean bar. I tried to avoid the bad stuff today and instead went for the chili, which had sat. fat in it... and then I totally blew it and put an oz. of cheese and an oz. of sour cream. Then I finished off the package of cheese popcorn and the bag of multigrain minis. Oh and what did I eat for dinner? CHEEEEEEEESE pizza. with at least 4 oz of cheese. holy crap. My stomach is freaking out and the cheese and dough ball are just sitting there. All I should have had was a smoothie, but then I would have had to share with my daughter and I would have crashed raging in 30 minutes due to lack of protein. I can't win for losing. I swear I am not going to eat for a month. (That is such a lie.)

That's the problem when you eat at the costco food court. Limited entrees. But the good news it I bought baby carrots and cucumbers and I got a gallon of milk for work, so I can take my protein shakes in. I love being able to drink shakes. I also got some crackers and some pears so I will have some options in the morning.

Now I have to figure out what to make for dinner tomorrow. Here's hoping I can find something good. I am going to start eating breakfast at home in the morning so as to not spend money and see if I can make lunch too. But tomorrow is chicken quesadilla on whole wheat tortilla... a fabulous concoction they make in the cafe, so I will have to think about dinner and breakfast. WHY AM I ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT FOOD?

Yeah, you'll have that

This is how I feel today.

Slug-like.

Why am I barely able to move and my head is now busting out of my skull. Oh, what did I have for dinner? A monster plate of spaghetti and 5 meatballs. Homemade garlic bread, & 3 glasses of red wine. What? Exercise?

When I was much younger I actually did fall off a hay wagon (not a turnip truck); it knocked the breath out of me. This falling off the food wagon can be blamed on two things... hormones and a severe lack of will power.

Meh. I will pack my bag for the gym tomorrow. I'm tired and I am going to bed.

Gardening as cardio

Okay, I am not talking about trowel wielding shuffle along on your knees to plant annuals, though I did do some of that. I am talking hard labor. I turned over an area 4 .5 feet by about 20 feet with a shovel and then used the roto tiller on it. I added 40 lb bags of manure and some of my own compost to the area, then raked it all smooth. Then I added a bit of limestone to the area. that was yesterday. Today I did another 4 square feet of overturning and break clumps with a shovel and then I planted many many many seeds. Tomatoes, peas, peppers, carrots, squash, zucchini, lettuce and basil. Tomorrow I will plant parsley and thyme (from seed).

yesterday, as I was finishing up in the garden, I was sweating profusely and out of breath. My face was red from exertion. I wasn't in fat burning mode, but my heart rate was up.

My goal is to exercise 5 days a weeks and chasing a 2 year old doesn't count. I am trying to figure out how to make it all work and I am figuring out that it is not. Tonight I should put in an exercise video and just do it, but I know I won't. Truth is, my exertions today tired me out... so no sustained cardio for me. And alas, my calorie levels were not so great. Today, 3 egg whites and grilled bread (read that as in butter, YUM) lunch was cold lamb and sweet potato couscous. Dinner was an Arby's Roast beef sandwich, curly fries, green beans and half a muffin. (tiny) I just ate an apple and glorious piece of mint chocolate. Oh and I should add I had two other pieces of Godiva chocolate... Nirvana.

so I have an issue with chocolate and I wish for a smaller body. These things don't mix.... unless you can keep it to one piece of chocolate. I'll work on that. In the meantime, in the South, there is a thing called pollen season. It is yellow everywhere. After taking some benadryl, I am now down for the count.